Yes. Sounds simple, right?
My microphone in my studio.
I miss talking. Yes, I can talk, but coming out of a cold, sore through, stuffy nose, in the blazing inferno weather that we have here in Texas, has made it a challenge.
My rearranging of shows & guests (some of them well known) has made the numbers dip, my posts of upcoming shows have taken a slide, and my creative juices have just dried up. I've been frustrated as I've seen my sadness swell and my incredible team helping me to succeed, I feel that I've let them down, yet they have been so understanding(thank you to the awesome ladies Jen & Sarah of 'Pink Dreams Inc.').
Entering 50 was supposed to be exciting, fun, putting me & my dreams finally to the forefront because my career has put everything on pause. I've missed out on so much & career(s) have made it be the "no, I can't make it this time", overwhelming & filled with, "It's ok Marisa. Maybe next time." Those days were done. My time was now. No was not going to be an option and I was ready to live my life & my dreams the fullest.
50 so far has brought on the early stages of, what I like to call, 'The Pause', the slight weight gain, the self doubt of being accepted in public media places because of being surrounded by the young and beautiful, and 3, yes THREE times with laryngitis!
Current battle has been a severe cold coming back from a trip with the hubs after a nightmare of coming back home (rule # always: NEVER leave your bag in an Uber!). My vocals once again were hit. I questioned why again me? What am I doing wrong? I work out. I take multivitamins, drink water, cut down on fast foods, etc. I was the only participant in the party of self pity & anger. I stayed there in my tears, blame & silence way longer than I should have.
Then I realized that I can not let a minor setback, because this is what it is, make me stay in this permanently. I can't let this moment, because it's just that, a MOMENT. They pass, they move on to another moment, then that one turns into another.
I turned my silence into prayer. Prayer not only for my health, but for those who have prayed for me, who are rooting for me to succeed, and to be well and that right there was the beauty. The people in my life who love & care for me. A husband who loves me, and my family. A God who loves me, despite my flaws. I'm grateful for you 'Heard That!' nation and those who have followed me since Day 1. My heart is full, and trust & believe, some EXCITING things are coming through soon! 🎙️💐